i promised myself i'll write this
there were hands, little children holding hands to make a flower
Hetty was there, was she? there were hands and i finally unlocked the secret why children's games have hands, they wanted to be held. and i remembered my old room. the cold bed, the faint smell of cigar, and then i felt some heavy longing. then i tried to look at you, but i couldn't open my eyes, you were rambling-- we were rambling, i was trying to listen, but i'm seeing bricks, and i was thinking of parlor games. i wish i remember more. i was flying.