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5.09.2013


I. Baby,

Today, there was a girl in the office, she was frustrated and teary-eyed. She had a fight with her boyfriend, they had a child. They’re a young couple. They had an argument because the boy was playing too much videogames and she nagged him to death. She complained how the boy would often walk too fast ahead of her—petty things—like failing to reach a level-up because the other would snatch the tablet away. It was funny. But the girl’s face wasn’t. I can tell that she’d been harboring bottled up emotions from quite some time and it’s driving her nuts.

I can’t wait for you to annoy me that much. I can’t wait for us to be together so much that we’d drive each other crazy. I can’t wait for us to get bored buying groceries, fighting over who cleans and who doesn’t, get mad about coming home late, or forgetting to pay bills.

I can’t wait for us to be quiet because we ran out of things to speak.
Or sleep. Because we had enough sex.

II. A montage of some things

There was a man who had snakes for hair,
he plays very well, his palms are flashes
tapping a percussion. “you’ll fall in love with island,”
he said. A Serbian told me, “the sunset changes
everyday.” A woman who lived in Spain,
“be careful, everybody watches you here.” “It’s so tiny!”
I keep complaining. “friendships are loose,
most people leaves,” a kitesufer with a dog told me.

III.

I remember sitting on an old couch in Future, it’s a bar in Cubao Expo. There were bugs I think because I can feel tiny insects biting my legs. I was drinking gin and lime, I was tipsy. Everybody’s talking and talking and I wasn’t listening. I was just there locked in my own thoughts. Then I would speak about something totally irrelevant, and everybody would stop and listen to me. They will laugh too, because I’m supposed to be funny.

IV.

I think I can go anywhere and still feel the same. It’s not the place that I struggle with.
It’s seeing things over time. I’m restless. And no matter where I go, there I am.